Love story

Today (early 4am) I email her, then shut down my computer with another disappointing moment.

When I was in my 21years old, I meet a girl named Joycelyn, 18 years old. She work in the same floor as me. I worked as a sale retailer, and she worked as a Gold-lion Promoter. She is very popular, alot of men promoter or as long is single men will keep buzzing her. And so I told myself,"What make you stand any chance? Give up, my friend." I always feel depressed that in my mind tell myself, "Beautiful lady will never give a look at ugly guy like me. She properly will make fun of me in front of everyone." Until now, I still think that way, I always worry to approach to beautiful girls I'm interested in her, a shyguy I must say. So anyway, I worked as usual and my eye still can't leave her. When Valentine day came, I give her a self made Valentine card on her lunch hour, and get ready to become a laughing icon on the floor or not.

After lunch, she came back. No sign, and I'm about to turn away. She stood there and turn back and said,"David, I love the card you give me." Smile and carry on. I do included my home number in the card plus a note of "I love you." I don't give any hope still.

After work, I went as usual. Have my dinner and watch TV program. Then phone ring, my mum took the call and said, "boy, you got a friend call you...and is a GIRL!" Yap, never have a girl call me at all. I was very puzzled about that, should a wrong number. So I get the call..."OMG! Is her." End up we talk until midnight. We talk about everything including the some incident like: She really hate those guys buzzing her during work, lunch, dinner, and home. After work, always her go pub, disco,hate it so much, lolz. Can't find any sincere on them. Then I hint her on own second phone call, did she recieved my messenge on the last line of my card...she said yes. I was so happy. We talk like no borders after work, but look stranger when on the floor. But sometime, she will return a smile at me. I feel so honey pouring over my head...melted.

Until one day, my 21st birthday, she was late on my birthday party. I'm not happy and worst is she only stayed for 1 hours and left. My emotion get worst, drinking alot and did not talk to her for 2 days. I can see she is not happy too, but because my selfishness, I did not care much. Taking granted for everything she gave me.

When one day, my friend in from another department told me that he saw Joycelyn was with another guy, look like another Promoter in the same floor. Thunder strike on my heart. Still showing disbelived on what I heard. When I get home, I confronted her. She cry and sound disappointed on me. (she should. I have been an asshole.) She told me on her last word before hand up the phone, "In my life, I only love 2 men that show sincere to me. One is my boyfriend and the other is you. But I promise him first, and met you later. If I could meet you earlier, you definitely will be my choice. At least you look so much better than him, fun loving than him, and devoted than him. I'm so sorry I hurt you. goodbye."

Even now, when I write this word that burned inside my heart, remained very pain, heart breaking, crying in my heart.

When I quit my job because of National Service, I want to see her once last time, but found that the promoter had change to others. I lost my mind, then her best friend scold me, "You are a asshole, why you want to hurt Joycelyn that much. She loves you, give up her dream job(SIA air-stewardess) because of you!" Yes, I do remember she told me that she like fly around the world, she went to a SIA stewardess interview, and she felt that she not good enough. But I told her she is beautiful and tall, they will loose big time if they don't choose you. Don't worry, after your success on the interview, we go celebrated.

I'm too shame to call her, as is my fault at first. But on that last day, I went to all the Orchard gold-lion and Pirre Cardin outlet and crazy looking for her sight, hope I could know where did she transfer to. Then heard that she used to station at Chinatown point outlet, I went there and search for her too. Regret, all I said. Becoming a worst asshole in my life to hurt a girl I love.

The past 2 years, she still popped into my dream, jump up of bed, search for her home number and call, number change and Telecom can't tell me the new number for this previous owner. Then I know she lived in Hougang and surname Yeo. (no, is not that Singapore swimmer, duh!!!!) anyeay, I flipped open the phone book and search for the surname that live in Hougang, and start calling. (Can you belived it how devoted or crazy I'm back then? I can't believe when I'm in my consciousness.) No hope, so now I only keep it in my heart. Thinking is felt stupid if i tell my friends. They will just laugh his ass off. And everytime I heard the music -Dying young theme from Kenny G, I remember her and my heart hurt once more.
Cheers.